


Drug Testing/Fun Run

by RadAnnathema (orphan_account)



Series: New York City Supply [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda, The Office (US)
Genre: Alex Is A Genius, Goals, Multi, Thomas is an Idiot, abstract lamps and lesbians, drug testing???, maria and eliza are so adorable in this, very gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-06
Updated: 2017-05-06
Packaged: 2018-10-28 13:38:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10832385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/RadAnnathema
Summary: After George hits Peggy with his car, he starts fun run to raise money for rabies, as she turned out to have it. Meanwhile, Thomas finds weed in the parking lot and decides to put everyone through tedious one-on-one interviews.





	Drug Testing/Fun Run

George drums against the wheel, glancing over at the camera. “I’m sad, to be honest, about the long weekend ending. I went to Jamaica, got a girlfriend, it was a pretty nice deal. But I’ve missed the office. Thomas, Aaron, and Alexander are rocking the sales team. John somehow is perkier more than he ever has been. Angelica just went through the biggest sales streak we’ve ever had. Eliza and _Maria_ hit their sixth month married. I’m sure nothing bad could happen, after all the good luck I’ve had-” The car screeches to a stop as Peggy slides down the windshield, evident that George had hit her. George gives the camera terrified glance, and then jumps from his car door.

 

The rest of the office has only quiet murmuring, that stopping when George walks solemnly through the door, face fallen.

 

“I’ve got some terrible, just awful news,” He shook his head, brushing his feet against the carpet. All heads turned to watch as he took a deep breath. “Peggy has gotten hit by a car.” There was a series of gasps.

 

“The one moment I’m not there to protect her, she gets hit by a fucking car!” Angelica screeched angrily, Eliza nodding along.

 

_“I’ve learned it’s best to nod to whatever Angelica says. She enjoys positive feedback,” Eliza explained._

 

“It’s great that you were there,” John gushed from the reception desk, worry written across his face.

 

_“Peggy and I are really good friends. I can trust her, really well. After all, two weeks after she started working here, I invited her over, got really drunk, and confessed that I was in love with Alex,” John shakes his head at the past version of himself. “Still hasn’t told a soul. Now that’s a person I can be friends with.”_

George looked extremely guilty.

 

“Well, I was in the car when it happened,” He admitted, Alex standing from his chair.

 

“Who did it?” He furrowed his eyebrows, tone stern.

 

_“Alex can look really terrifying when he gives you that look. Even if he is only 5’7,” George fiddles with his hands, gazing at the floor._

 

“I...I hit Peggy with my car,” George admits, Angelica storming from his chair over to her boss, but Eliza grabs her before she can kick him in the face.

 

_“No one bothers my little sis,” Angelica snarls._

 

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to!” He apologizes.

 

“Why don’t you say that to Peggy? She’s the one you hit, after all,” Angelica flipped her hair, face burning with anger.

 

“Angie, just give it up. How bad is it?” She turns to her boss, arms still wrapped tightly around her sister, who is still trying to pull from her grip.

 

“She cracked her pelvis, slightly. That’s it,” He promises, Angelica slowing slightly.

 

“Fine. But I’ve still got a minor grudge against you, remember that the next time you expect a paycheck,” Angelica points at him, and then storms off to HR, most likely to rant to Maria so she’ll cool off. Eliza rolls her eyes, and drops back into her seat, leaning down on it.

 

_“I can never predict what’ll happen here,” John laughs._

 

The group is working, until Jefferson spins his chair towards Alex, who is focusing on his computer screen. Alex glances up at him, before Jefferson rushes to the front of the room, face stern.

 

“Everyone! I’d like your attention currently!” He called out, cupping his hands around his mouth. Alex leans back on his chair and turns to watch him, everyone glancing up. “After analyzing the sample I found in the parking lot, I’ve determined that someone put _weed_ close to the entry. As my duty as a voluntary police office, I’ll be conducting a series of one-on-one interviews with everyone until I find the prosector.” With that, he nods swiftly, and strolls into the conference room. In the back, Charles Lee gives the rest a worried look, before sliding open one of his desk drawers and taking a few black bags from it to stuff into his briefcase.

 

_“Who is most likely to smoke weed in this office? Honestly, Jefferson. But I’m not really concerned with that. This is the perfect opportunity to prank him,” Alex smiles evilly._

 

“Elizabeth?” Jefferson beckons her from the open doorway, Eliza grumbling something and then moving over there.

 

_“I’ve told him countless times my name is Eliza. He doesn’t believe me,” She rubs her temple._

 

“Now, Elizabeth, what is this?” Jefferson pushes a picture of marijuana towards her. Eliza peers at it for a moment.

 

“That’s weed,” She confirms, Jefferson gesturing towards her excitedly.

 

“Ah! And how could you know that?” He accuses, Eliza’s face twisting into confusion as she points to the wording at the bottom of the page.

 

“It’s labeled,” She explains, and turned the paper back so Jefferson could see. Thomas groans.

 

_“I should look more carefully when I print things out,” Jefferson sighs. “But I was distracted.”_

 

Jefferson clicks print on his computer, and then stands to go over to the printer, paying too much attention to Madison’s back, who is standing in front of him, to notice the label.

 

_“This work day is the worst one, yet, honestly. Washington’s at the hospital with Angelica checking out Peggy-she dragged him along- and Alex won’t pay attention to me because he’s on a continuous sale with this one big company. But I’ll suffer through it, because tonight is my favorite night of the month,” John grins to the floor. “Alex comes over and we’ll watch a bunch of stupid movies together. We’ll pig out and make loud comments about it, something we couldn’t do at a movie theater.” He shuffles his feet, grin growing at the thought of his best friend._

 

“Alexander?” Jefferson nods towards the other, who races into the room, sliding in his seat. Jefferson plopped down across from him, stare narrowing. “I know you’re the type of person to have used this drug, so just admit to it.” Alex folds his arms across his chest.

 

“What does that mean?” He raises an eyebrow in an accusatory way.

 

“You know what it means,” Jefferson glares.

 

_“I think that was enough of a reason to play with him,” Alex protests._

 

“Okay, how do we know you didn’t put it there?” Alex leans on the conference table, eyeing the other carefully. Jefferson frowned.

 

“That’s ridiculous. Of course it wasn’t me,” He replies, Alex hiding a smirk with a stern expression.

 

“Marijuana is a memory loss drug, so maybe you just don't remember,” Alex supplies, shrugging. Jefferson furrowed his eyebrows.

 

“I would remember,” He promises, but his voice is unsure. Alex now allows a little of his smirk peek through the mask.

 

“Well, how could you if it just erased your memory?” Alex asks, Jefferson not really having a real answer.

 

“That’s not how it works,” He snaps after a beat of silence, but the other man has already gotten him trapped.

 

“Now, how do you know how it works?” Alex raises an eyebrow, face accusing.

 

“I’m supposed to be running this interview, stop,” Jefferson hisses, Alex transforming his expression into one of anger.

 

“No! You said I'd be conducting the interview when I walked in here!” He shouts, standing up quickly and slamming his hands against the table, causing Jefferson to jump in fear.

 

“Now, exactly how much pot did you smoke?” Alex snarls, Thomas just gazing at him in terror.

 

_“Damn, I’m good,” Alex winks at the camera._

 

Lafayette talks wildly, hands gesturing as Jefferson stares at the camera boredly.

 

“And the guys are saying, "Chug! Chug! Chug!" But I'm so small and all I had eaten that day was one of those Auntie Em pretzels from the food court. So I said, "Is it okay if I sip it?" And they said, "No." But Herc seemed cool either way…” He trails off, Jefferson scoffing and banging a fist against the table in a manner that resembled Alex’s, scowl clear.

 

“Stop! This is not "Gilbert Lafayette’s Story Hour." Illegal drugs were consumed on company property, okay? Your ass is on the line, mister! My ass is on the line! Now, I'm gonna ask you again, what time did you go home last night?” He shouts, Lafayette leaning back in his chair as his face twists up in both uncomfortableness and anger.

 

“6:00,” He whispers, Jefferson smiling at his answer, and placed his hands behind his head.

 

_“Jefferson is pretty good when it comes to this,” Lafayette pulls at his lip. “I remember why I was so attracted to him before Hercules came.”_

 

George and Angelica stroll through the door, Jefferson resting in the conference room, waiting to call in the new arrivals.

 

“Angelica!” His voice wavers through. John shrugs when Angelica gives him a confused look, and then she bounces over to duck into the room. George struts to the front of the room, smile on his face.

 

“Did you know that Peggy had had rabies before she got into the hospital? If I hadn’t hit her, she would have died from that terrible illness,” He speaks, exasperated. “We need to bring awareness to this issue, and so, I’m organizing a 4k race to raise money for rabies.” He strikes a pose, then disappears into his office.

 

_“He denies it, but he’s only doing this because Peggy refused to accept his apology,” Angelica twirls a finger through her hair._

 

_“Hey, I’ve got a great idea. Why don’t I force my workers to run when they don’t want to for a disease that is already cured?” Alex imitates George, John chuckling beside him._

 

_“At least he gave us time to get home and bring a change of clothes. Meanwhile, Jefferson hasn’t found an answer to his crime,” John adds, Alex rolling his eyes._

 

_“I hate this office sometimes.”_

 

“James, my man!” George reaches out for a high-five, but Madison just gives him a glance before turning back to his computer. “How many people have donated yet?”

 

“No one,” He sighs, George holding up a finger.

 

“Actually, my girlfriend, Sally, called in and donated five hundred dollars,” He corrects, Eliza frowning behind her reading glasses.

 

“Isn’t that your money, though?” She asks, George beginning to answer, before drifting away. Underneath the desks, Eliza, James, and Angelica share a high five.

 

_“Sometimes, the accountants go out for a drink or two. James is kinda like a puppy. He’s very sweet. I just wish he wasn’t tied up with Jefferson. Don’t get me wrong, Jefferson is a nice guy, but only when he wants to be. Of course, he’s always kind to James,” Eliza tells the camera._

 

“What’s your plan for the run?” Alex asks John, leaning on his elbow. John sips his coffee, chuckling.

 

“Well, I’m gonna start fast,” He begins, Alex nodding. “Then I’m gonna go through the middle fast, and I’ll end fast.” Alex smiles at him with a look of complete adoration.

 

“That’s the smartest thing I’ve ever heard,” He gushes, John giggling.

 

_“The smartest thing I’ve ever heard? Alex,” John blushes wildly._

 

George leans on the reception desk, listening as John remakes the voice mail message.

 

“The Scranton Branch of Dunder-Mifflin have taken the day for George Washington's Dunder Mifflin Scranton Peggy Schuyler Memorial Celebrity Rabies Awareness Pro-Am Fun Run Race,” John slams the phone down, panting slightly. George watches him for a moment.

 

“Add on “for the cure”, alright?” He slaps John’s arm lightly and walks away, the receptionist groaning and questioning his choice to work here everyday.

_“At least I’ll be running with Alex,” John whispers to himself._

 

“Oh, I’m Maria. I’ve got a perfect wife, I can run fast,” George mutters underneath his breath, Jefferson beside him, watching out the glass windows as Maria talks to John, Alex, and Eliza excitedly, gym bag slung over her shoulder.

 

“If it helps, I slipped her laxatives,” Jefferson suggests, George snickering evilly. They see her jump happily, and George frowns.

“Are you sure it was laxatives?” He questions. Jefferson gives him a guilty expression.

 

“Might have been Imodium,” He admits, George scoffing.

 

“Get out,” He sighs, and Jefferson trails from the office.

 

_“Sometimes, I wish Thomas wasn’t such an idiot,” He confesses._

 

“Alright, are you all ready for our fun run?” George punches a fist in the air, pumping his knees in the air. Angelica brushes past him to rest beside Aaron Burr, both still dressed in work clothes.

 

_“Aaron gets me. He’s like, my gay best friend, but he isn’t gay,” Angelica explains._

 

“Let’s go!” Sally blares a air horn, sunglasses pushed over her eyes, but it’s evident she is not happy. They begin to jog off, Angelica and Aaron instead turning to hop into Aaron’s car to go out to lunch during the race. Maria and Eliza quickly move to the front, speed quick, and they share a grin.

 

_“We jog together every morning and night, usually,” Eliza sparkles, Maria squeezing her knee lovingly._

 

Alex and John, though, stray purposefully to the end, and once everyone passes them, Alex ducks John down a back street.

 

“Oh man, we’re in the back,” Alex whined jokingly, John playing along.

 

“I really wanted to win,” He complains, and somehow, their hands curl into one another. They continue skipping along, John pushing into Alex in a flirty way, the other responding joyfully. Meanwhile, George is tripping over his feet, close to crying.

 

_“I ate a bunch of pasta before,” He explains. “Thought that was supposed to help.”_

 

Alex and John stop at a yard sale, smiling at one another as they glance over the objects.

 

“Wanna check it out with me?” John asks him, Alex squeezing his hand and nodding, pulling the two into it, laughing lowly as the camera zooms out. Maria and Eliza are close to the end, jogging together still.

 

“I can’t believe I’m still in first,” Maria gushes, Eliza giggling at her wife.

 

“I know, usually we have to take a bathroom break,” She agrees. Maria nudges her, in the same manner of Alex and John.

 

“Guess we’re just lucky, right?” Maria winks, Eliza chuckling and quickly pecking her cheek.

 

“I definitely am.”

 

_“Maria and Eliza are one of those gross couples. They met when Eliza finally walked back to the annex. Then, she was engaged to a British guy, John something, and was delivering wedding invitations to Lafayette. After seeing Maria typing at her desk, 80’s music blaring, Eliza instantly tossed out the invitations and introduced herself to the pretty girl,” Peggy explains from the hospital bed, blinking lazily. “Man, I feel so trippy right now.”_

 

Alex and John exit the yard sale, Alex cradling an abstract lamp.

 

“Oh, so I bought it for you, so now I’ve got to carry it?” He giggles, John nodding confidently.

 

“Those are the rules,” He adds, touching Alex’s arm lightly before dropping his hand.

 

George stops on the sidewalk, panting terribly, and then collapses. As the camera zooms out, they see Lafayette, who's taking scores still sitting in the office parking lot about 100 meters away.

 

**BLACK**

 

Sirens blare as the office gathers in the parking lot, grumbling as George is loaded into an ambulance.

 

“He didn’t drink enough water,” Lafeyette shakes his head, then spinning on his heel to go inside underneath the arm of Hercules. The rest wait to see, Jefferson rushing over to a group of police to report the weed.

 

“See, someone left it in the parking lot,” He explains, pulling out the bag. They take it from him, glancing at it, before handing it back.

 

“Sir, that’s potato salad.”

 

_“I’m just glad the race is over,” John shrugs, then grins. “I’m just glad it’s movie night.”_

 

Jefferson trudges in the office defeated, James bouncing after him. A car pulls up, Aaron and Angelica stepping from it, eyeing the ambulance, then each other, and they slip back into the car. It drives away quickly. Maria and Eliza move to go back, when John and Alex appear around the side of the gathered professionals, chuckling as John takes the lamp from Alex. Eliza smirks.

 

“Lovebirds,” Maria murmurs, taking Eliza’s hand tightly. Her wife gazes at her affectionately.

 

“They could say the same for us,” She jokes, John and Alex finally coming up to them, freezing their conversation.

 

“You guys had an unfair advantage,” Alex accuses, Maria rolling her eyes.

 

“Just because we exercise regularly doesn’t mean we’re taking steroids,” She responds, Eliza dipping against her shoulder.  John eyes Alex, who is grinning, then checks his watch.

 

“What do you say, Alex? Currently, it’s five, so we could leave now and start our movie night early,” John suggests. Alex tears his attention away from the happy married couple back to John, nodding quickly.

 

“Sounds like a plan,” He reaches out a hand and rests it on John’s lamp, standing in that position for a moment, before tugging at it slightly to motion to John to walk with him to his car. As they disappear, Eliza and Maria watch them go.

 

“Only a matter of time,” Maria predicts, Eliza winks at her.

 

“Maybe less, if we help,” She hints, Maria shaking her head firmly, leaning down to nuzzle into Eliza as they turn towards their car.

 

“I told you, no meddling in relationships,” Maria warns, but laughs loudly while the two stroll away.

 

The camera is looking through a window, where John and Alex are resting together, attacked by a fit of laughter. Alex is feeding John popcorn, who can barely eat it through his chuckling, the tv screen flashing with a scene. The two snuggle closer together, John closing his eyes as his breath begins to hit Alex’s neck. The other notices that he’s fallen asleep, and a small, grateful smile spreads across his face as he leans his head back to fall asleep as well. Popcorn is splattered across their blanket, John’s hand curled protectively around Alex’s loose t shirt, Alex’s fingers prancing along John’s bare skin along the bottom of his back. The two curl up like puzzle pieces, John’s other hand reaching up to lace itself through Alex’s messy hair, that surprisingly isn’t in a ponytail, his companion using his arm as a pillow.

 


End file.
